i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
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