i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize
