Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
