Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Randomize
