My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
he thought i was a dude.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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