Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
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