I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Randomize
