Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Randomize
