did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
