just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
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I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
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Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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