At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
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