He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
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if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
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what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I want a musical about memes.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
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