It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
