what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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