chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
