He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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