I'm gonna have a badass scar
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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