whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Randomize