I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Randomize
