Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
