i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
