Just cropdusted the office
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
