he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
