Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I can tuck mytits in my pants
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
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