I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
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