I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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