Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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