I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
