Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
