so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
