she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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