I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
