Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
as a side note pls kill me
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
