Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
