Soap is not a condiment
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
