What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Randomize
