What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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