As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
