he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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