No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
