they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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