Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
