I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
