it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Come see our sink grown plant.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
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After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
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The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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