is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
