im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
