Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
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