i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize