Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
