the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
