Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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