I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
