i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Randomize
