Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
This house was built for laser tag.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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