I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
