ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
