He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
