i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
worst night to have a conscience
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Randomize
