uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
