i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
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