I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
