she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
