Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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