In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
