ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
